Positive Parenting Blog
Why I enjoy staying home with my kids
Mar 18th
It’s such a funny thing. When I was working in my cushy corporate office job (I say “cushy” loosely as my last job was JUST like the movie Office Space) , I used to wonder what it would be like to be at home with my kids. I imagined myself pulling out my hair and running from the house screaming with my suitcases packed.
And while there have been days when I’ve felt like packing up my suitcases (and many days when I’ve yelled out “Calgon, take me away!” Yes, I finally understand those old-school commercials…), all-in-all, I feel like this is what I’m meant to be doing.
Now, this isn’t meant to bash anyone who works and loves it. And it’s not meant to praise stay at home moms either.
No, what’s more important, in my opinion, is that you find what makes YOU happy. Because when you’re happy, your whole house is happy. And THAT is when you can really create a more positive environment with your kids.
When I was working, I didn’t really enjoy it. Even though I was good at what I did, I knew it wasn’t the right environment for me. And because of that, I stressed out and caused my family lots of unnecessary stress as well.
Now that I’m home, we’re all pretty calm and happy for the most part. Things are MUCH less stressful, and I can focus on positive parenting.
I am grateful to have this time at home with my kids. They’re only young once, and I am SO happy that I didn’t miss out on more than I did. I really want to thank a community I belong to for steering me in the right direction.
The site is called Wealthy Affiliate, and it’s a training center and community for affiliate marketers. Affiliate marketing is like my dream job. Some people are born to sing. I feel like I was born to share ideas, thoughts, opinions and solutions online. And Wealthy Affiliate has helped train me to do that in the most fun, enlightening and ethical way.
In case you’re dissatisfied with where you currently are in your career, and in case you’d prefer to spend more time with your family, then you may want to check out Wealthy Affiliate. I feel like I could go on and on about the tools, training and support there, but this post is already SO long! LOL.
If you’re at all interested in making a living online, then I would highly suggest just clicking on the link. You don’t have to go any further if you’re not comfortable, or if you feel this isn’t something right for you. My wish is that everyone in this world follow their bliss and follow what feels good to THEM. But at least click the link and see what it’s about and see if it’s something that you feel good about.
I know I hesitated for so long to click that link. But I am SO glad I did now. 
Am I Being Pushed Around?
Mar 14th
Sometimes when I think about the way that I parent, I do think it’s very positive. But, at the same time, am I being so positive that I’m being pushed around by my kids? (I jokingly refer to my son as “Master” Frankie. LOL) Am I TOO nice? Is there such a thing? How can you be positive and still be the strong, supportive parent that your kids look up to?
But you know, the more I think about it, the more I realize how much give and take it is. And to me, there’s no right answer. Every situation you’re in with your kids is different from the one before it. So, how can it be possible that there’s only one approach?
For instance, my kids love candy and ice cream and junk food. Who doesn’t? And there are times when they want to eat too much of it and I get really upset, but I still give in. Other times, I don’t get upset and I still give in. And still other times, I don’t give in.
Now, according to the parenting gurus (OK, I admit it. I’m talking about SuperNanny. LOL), I’m not being consistent and my kids are going to get confused. But why is consistency so important? Things are always changing. I have different reactions at different times, and my kids have different reactions to my reactions at different times.
Why isn’t that OK?
We’re different people every second of every day. And our perceptions change every second of every day. And we have different thoughts and actions and reactions every second of every day. So, why do we need to be consistent?
Personally, I think going with the flow is OK.
And you know what? After watching the last episode of SuperNanny, I am grateful for the pleasant, happy and fun kids that I have! (Not that I think there’s anything “wrong” with the kids on SuperNanny. I think they just have different personalities and different things going on in their lives.)
So maybe I’m doing something right after all?
What role does nutrition play in positive parenting?
Mar 4th
You know, I really love any information on nutrition, the food industry, which foods are best for our bodies, etc. And I am especially interested in that for kids. I certainly don’t have a nutrition degree or anything, I just read a lot about it.
And from that reading, I’ve come to truly believe that kids’ (and adults’!) behaviors, sleeping patterns and energy can be attributed to what they eat. I truly believe there are certain foods that really drain the body, and certain foods that are amazing for the body.
And I was thinking about all of this as I was sitting and eating lunch with my kids at a restaurant… I watched them as they ate chicken fingers…a corn dog…fries…ice cream sundaes. And my lunch was certainly no better.
That’s when I realized it.
I’m one of “those” people. I talk the talk, but I don’t walk the walk.
I’m guessing a lot of us are in the same boat. We WANT to do the best for our bodies. We WANT to do the best for our kids’ bodies.
Part of the struggle with food is just seeing my picky pre-schoolers eat SOMETHING, anything! Part of it is seeing the smile on their faces with the mention of ice cream. I just love those smiles. And maybe there’s also a small part of my brain that says “Ah, they’re kids! And they’re healthy. This food won’t hurt them.”
But I know this is the wrong perspective. These are excuses. And I’m tired of making these excuses for all of us. I have piles and piles of healthy cookbooks, books about nutrition, books about kids and nutrition…
So, what am I doing?
Why is it so easy to give in to my kids? Why is it so easy to give in to my own cravings? Especially when I know exactly what to eat and how to eat it.
“Be the change you want to see.” is one of my favorite quotes. “Be the change you want to see.” The only way my kids are going to adapt healthier eating habits is if I do. (And my husband if I can get him on board too!) I HAVE to make that commitment. We ALL do. Because we owe it to ourselves and to our kids.
Is it better to feel good in the moment we’re eating, or feel good in ALL moments?
So, in conclusion, what role does nutrition play in positive parenting? I think it plays a HUGE role. Because when YOU feel good, your kids will respond to that. I guarantee it. When your kids feel good, YOU will respond to that. When the whole family is feeling healthy and vibrant and alive…well, my true belief is that there will be no need for discipline because everyone is active, healthy and happy.
Positive parenting will be at the core of your being. You won’t need any books or articles to tell you what it’s all about. You’ll just know by the way you and your kids feel. And you’ll realize that it just feels good.
Positive Parenting Article
Jan 30th
Here’s an article I found about positive parenting. Enjoy!
National Survey of Parents of Young Children showed that although 9 out of 10 parents believe that parenting is the most important thing they do, nearly one-third of parents could increase their positive parenting, one-third could be more effective in their parenting and nearly two-thirds could decrease their punitive parenting.
Take a minute and imagine what it would be like to raise children that are confident, are not affected by peer pressure and no way influence by the media. Imagine not worrying too much about choices that they make because deep inside you know they will always bounce back to the good values you have instilled in them. How would that make you feel as a parent? I bet pretty darn well good!
Ok, now let’s get back to the present.
You see, it does not matter what kind of parenting styles you follow but one thing that I am sure is that most parents have the natural ability to nurture and the desire to praise and love. However, parenting challenges can turn even the most patient and understanding adult into a frustrated and misunderstood parent. Many parents often ask this question: what are the most important skills of positive parenting would they need in order to have a positive affect raising their children? This answer may vary from different people point of view.
While parenting methods and styles vary from parent to parent, certain traits and techniques are bound to help create a safe home environment in which children can thrive in both trust and love. I believe the following three positive parenting skills can help you cope with your children and improve their behaviors.
Positive parenting can be achieved through the use of these three main sets of skills and they are as follow: Positive communication, setting boundaries, problem solving and stress management.
Positive Communication: Positive communication is a simple tool use to reinforce good behavior and eliminate bad behavior; it builds self-esteem and inspires confidence in children and it’s really easy once you get the hang of it. Children’s feelings of esteem are very highly influenced by their interaction and relationship with their parents. All children need to feel loved and accepted, and you can communicate those feelings to your children by the way you speak.
Setting Boundaries: This is one major issue in raising children; boundaries let children know what behavior is acceptable and what behavior is not. For young children, boundaries keep them safe-don’t cross the street alone, don’t talk to strangers, etc. For older children, boundaries make them pleasant people to live with, work with, and play with. Without boundaries, children will have problems getting along with others their entire life. But how do you set them? Well you simply have to mean what you say and follow through on what the consequences are if the rules are not followed. Some parents struggle with the following through part but there are techniques that you can use to help you follow once you learned them.
Problem Solving and Stress Management: In demonstrating problem-solving, adults should encourage children to generate their own solutions rather than imposing their own ‘best solution’, however obvious it may appear to the adult. This allows children to practice thinking creatively about solutions to their problems rather than relying on adults to be there to sort everything out.
Unlike what some may like to believe, stress is not dependent on age. It can surface at any age and for any individual if the environmental demands get too taxing. One important stress reliever to teach children of all ages that can help them deal with everything from uncomfortable feelings to tantrums is breathing exercises. It helps them stop, relax, and refocus.
You know, the truth is no one was born knowing how to be a parent. We all have to go through the experience ourselves and make adjustment where needed. Some tips of positive parenting can help you understand what you may be missing when educating your little one. To read more tips of positive parenting and related content, visit http://www.positiveparentingskills.info
Do you really Enjoy Parenting? You will!
Jan 26th
Do you wake up every day with a smile on your face, ready to start the day with your kids? Do you wake up happy, eager, ready to play with them and enjoy life with them? Do you really enjoy parenting?
I think we all enjoy our kids on most levels, but we may not always look forward to the long days ahead of us with them. You may have kids who are constantly bored, who watch too much TV, who whine constantly, nag, cry, fight with each other and any other circumstance that you don’t enjoy observing.
This is why I love EnjoyParenting.com so much. It takes the circumstances out of parenting, and allows you to open yourself up to different creative ways to parent your children, therefore enjoying them much, much more.
If you sign up for the email, you’ll get a new email every weekday that reinforces positive parenting and gives you practical ways to allow more creative and loving ways to parent your children.
I really enjoy these emails. (And yes, they’re free!)
Scott also has a coaching program, and a book available.
I hope you enjoy Scott’s writings as much as I do.
Whew! No One Noticed! And…Not So Positive
Jan 24th
I had my in-laws over for lunch today. We sat in the dining room for lunch. And guess what? No one noticed anything different about the chairs. Even my husband. Whew! What a relief! I guess I did a good job patching them up. Mom by day, business woman by night, and handywoman whenever necessary.
Second topic…does this happen to you? You feel all jazzed up about your day as soon as you wake up in the morning. You’re all comfortable in your cozy bed, warm and relaxed, feeling great about the day to come. Then, the day goes on, and it’s going pretty well, but you start to notice the kids are getting on your nerves a bit.
By 2:00 pm, you feel like if you hear “mommy” one more time, you’re going to stuff your head down the toilet to ensure you can’t hear it anymore.
And then 7:45 comes along, and you’re yelling “Let’s go! brush teeth time! Let’s go pee pee! Come one everyone, IT’S TIME FOR BED!!” because you just can’t take it anymore?
Not exactly positive, right?
Now, I really feel there is an opportunity here. How can we make this a more positive experience?
I believe that it’s not really circumstances that control everything, it’s our thoughts, and ultimately our feelings, that control everything. Therefore, a simple shift in thought here could make a huge difference.
I’m going to ponder this some more and see if there are some new thoughts I can come up with that will give me some better feelings. And maybe, just maybe those better feeling thoughts will cause easier and more pleasant nighttime routines.
The Chairs Are Fixed – Will They Hold Up?
Jan 23rd
Well, yesterday, the kids and I took a trip to Home Depot to get something to fix the dining room chairs. I bought this wax pen that fills dents and holes. And I fixed those suckers.
Meanwhile, Frankie kept whining “How long will this take?”
Me: evil glare
Frankie: “Well, this is taking a really long time.”
Me: evil glare. Then, “Well it’s not like I WANT to do this Frankie” while rolling my eyes.
So yea, I’m not always the most positive person ever. I’m getting there though.
But, the big test is tomorrow. I have my in-laws coming over for lunch. Will anyone notice there’s something wrong with the chairs? (I haven’t even told my husband yet.) Well, I’ll keep you posted…
The Perfect Opportunity to Practice Positive Parenting
Jan 20th
So, I noticed something with our dining room chairs today. I noticed that one of them had some scratches and dents on it. No, wait, that’s 2 chairs. 3? 4? 5? 6 chairs!!!!
“Frankie”, I asked in desperation. “What happened to these chairs?” He said “I don’t know”, with his boyish, I-really-do-know-what-happened grin.
I said “Tell me the truth. I just want to know what happened.”
OK, wait! Step back about a week from today. I was out to dinner with some friends, and they were talking about how their kids lie to them. And they told their kids that if they told the truth, they of course would still get punished, but not as severely. Well, no wonder kids lie!
Anyway… “Tell me the truth. I just want to know.”
Frankie says “Ok mommy. I’ll tell you the truth.” He runs to get something. He brings back a metal spatula from the kitchen. He says “One day when Lia and I were playing in here, I hit this against the chair. And I kept doing it.”
Me: “But why, Frankie, why? Can’t you see how it ruined the chairs?”
Him: “I’m sorry mommy. It just seemed really fun. I’m really sorry. Are you going to cry?”
Me: “No, I’m just a little sad. These are nice chairs. You know not to never do this again, right? You have to learn how to respect things.”
And so it went on like this for a little while. Now, while I maybe didn’t handle this perfectly, I still went WAY against what most normal parents would do. Most normal parents would resort to yelling, screaming and time-outs. (And don’t worry, I’m not knocking anyone who does this. I used to / still do this myself at times.)
The thing is this…the deed was already done. So, what would yelling and screaming accomplish? His reasoning was that it seemed like a fun thing to do. To a 4-year old boy, that WOULD be fun. He didn’t really know any better, but now he does…without yelling and screaming. Life is all about testing things and figuring things out. How will he know not to do this without first doing it?
After I got my thoughts back in order, a couple of key things happened. First, I saw my son from a different point of view. I saw him not just from “mom” perspective, but from my inner self or God perspective. In other words, I saw him as a perfect being, and the love I felt for him at that moment could not be measured by words. He is perfect the way he is. I am perfect the way I am. You are perfect the way you are.
Secondly, the words “All is well. There’s nothing going wrong here.” rang out in my mind so strongly.
Thirdly, I thought back to something that happened at work a couple of years ago. I kept something from my boss for several months because I knew she would be so angry when she found out that I was holding this information. I thought about how when she found out she yelled at me over the phone, “Why didn’t you tell me???!” And I thought “Because I knew this unpleasant conversation would happen!”
We all make “mistakes.” All mistakes lead to a better understanding of life. We all lie. We lie because we’re trying to feel good for as long as possible.
And you know what? Everything always works out in the end.
As for the chairs, I already have some ideas of how I can repair them. And I mean, really…is it SUCH a big deal? They are just chairs after all.
Welcome to Positive Parenting at UpliftKids.com
Jan 19th
Hi Everyone!
My name is Christina, and I created this blog because I truly believe in positive parenting and uplifting kids instead of bringing them down with strict discipline and rules.
Now listen, when I say I believe in positive parenting, I don’t mean to imply that I think I’m the perfect parent or anything. We ALL have our days. Some days I freak out on my kids and lose my temper. And sometimes they freak out on me. I think it’s completely normal to have those things happen. We’re only human, after all. We all have conflicts. But even those conflicts can be a positive thing when you turn them around and use them to make your family bond stronger and more fulfilling.
And that’s really what this blog is all about. I don’t think kids are *just* kids. They are individuals with their own preferences and their own thoughts and their own dreams and goals and imaginations. My dream is to be happy, to see my kids (and others’ kids) as happy and allow them to be who they are while I allow myself to be who I am.
I see my kids as my absolute greatest teachers in this life. Partly because they are having so much darn fun and I feel that we should all have that too! And partly because I believe that they came to this earth remembering more than I do. I really listen to what they have to say. And let me tell you, my 4.5 year old son has already told me some incredible things.
In a nutshell, positive parenting, to me, is not about me telling my kids what I know and what they should or shouldn’t do in life. It’s about me giving them my input from my point of view, and about them giving me their input from their point of view. Both inputs are equally as important.
Well, I hope you’ll stick around for more positive parenting thoughts, ideas and news. And in the meantime, please also enjoy my parenting store!
Much happiness and fun to you and your family.
Christina P.
