So, I noticed something with our dining room chairs today. I noticed that one of them had some scratches and dents on it. No, wait, that’s 2 chairs. 3? 4? 5? 6 chairs!!!!

“Frankie”, I asked in desperation. “What happened to these chairs?” He said “I don’t know”, with his boyish, I-really-do-know-what-happened grin.

I said “Tell me the truth. I just want to know what happened.”

OK, wait! Step back about a week from today. I was out to dinner with some friends, and they were talking about how their kids lie to them. And they told their kids that if they told the truth, they of course would still get punished, but not as severely. Well, no wonder kids lie!

Anyway… “Tell me the truth. I just want to know.”

Frankie says “Ok mommy. I’ll tell you the truth.” He runs to get something. He brings back a metal spatula from the kitchen. He says “One day when Lia and I were playing in here, I hit this against the chair. And I kept doing it.”

Me: “But why, Frankie, why? Can’t you see how it ruined the chairs?”

Him: “I’m sorry mommy. It just seemed really fun. I’m really sorry. Are you going to cry?”

Me: “No, I’m just a little sad. These are nice chairs. You know not to never do this again, right? You have to learn how to respect things.”

And so it went on like this for a little while. Now, while I maybe didn’t handle this perfectly, I still went WAY against what most normal parents would do. Most normal parents would resort to yelling, screaming and time-outs. (And don’t worry, I’m not knocking anyone who does this. I used to / still do this myself at times.)

The thing is this…the deed was already done. So, what would yelling and screaming accomplish? His reasoning was that it seemed like a fun thing to do. To a 4-year old boy, that WOULD be fun. He didn’t really know any better, but now he does…without yelling and screaming. Life is all about testing things and figuring things out. How will he know not to do this without first doing it?

After I got my thoughts back in order, a couple of key things happened. First, I saw my son from a different point of view. I saw him not just from “mom” perspective, but from my inner self or God perspective.  In other words, I saw him as a perfect being, and the love I felt for him at that moment could not be measured by words. He is perfect the way he is. I am perfect the way I am. You are perfect the way you are.

Secondly, the words “All is well. There’s nothing going wrong here.” rang out in my mind so strongly.

Thirdly, I thought back to something that happened at work a couple of years ago. I kept something from my boss for several months because I knew she would be so angry when she found out that I was holding this information. I thought about how when she found out she yelled at me over the phone, “Why didn’t you tell me???!” And I thought “Because I knew this unpleasant conversation would happen!”

We all make “mistakes.” All mistakes lead to a better understanding of life. We all lie. We lie because we’re trying to feel good for as long as possible.

And you know what? Everything always works out in the end.

As for the chairs, I already have some ideas of how I can repair them. And I mean, really…is it SUCH a big deal? They are just chairs after all. :)